Monday, February 11, 2008

The Pedicure

I love girls' weekends! And by the time I made it to Sarah's in-law's house in San Antonio... I was needing one badly! It was so great to catch up with my sweet friends, and to have an opportunity to breathe slowly, and thank God for my little family each time I realized how much I missed them. It was a lot harder leaving them than I thought it would be, but that made coming home a really great experience. Not like I was gone for all that long- it wasn't even 48 hours. And I called home several times, too. I guess I was a little sappy to begin with, and then calling home and having Collin cry into the phone saying, "You just leaved me here," didn't help much. All in all- wonderful experience for me. Lots of relaxation, talking, chex mix, meals without bibs, and laughter. Thanks girls! And we missed those of you who couldn't be there!

What is always typical of our girls' weekend is that something blog worthy happens. Last year, it was Sarah's fender-bender, in previous years Mal has wrecked her car, Sherry has had hilarious conversations with hotel employees, and we've wandered around the alleys in Boston at odd hours in the freezing cold. This year- it was the pedicure. Our one outing the entire weekend was a movie/pedicure run. I was so thrilled to be seeing a movie that didn't scare me to death (David got a Netflix subscription and his choices leave something to be desired) ...add a pedicure on top of that- this was an off-the-charts experience!

So we find our little nail place and are all pleased to see four recliners in a row. We settled in, noticed the big screen TV in front of us, and promptly began messing with our back massagers like we hadn't been our of the house in several years. This was going to be great. Conversation, a little TV, AND a massage...simultaneously. What bliss!

Should've known we were in for it when we saw the list of available movies: Die Hard with a Vengance, the War, Bourne Supremacy, etc. I was hoping for something starring someone from Dawson's Creek, a little Julia Stiles movie...something! Not so. We watched The War. Here's the basic plot: naked girls, gangsters, subtitles, more naked girls, shooting while naked girls run around, law enforcement, tattooed man and naked girl shoot more people, people die, something else about gangs...and that's just the first hour. Makes conversation a little awkward to say the least.

THEN, I had the good fortune of the screamin'-nazi-back-massager-lovin' pedicurist. I had just decided that I would turn off my entertaining yet not all that soothing chair when my manicurist walks over, commands that I put my feet in the water, smashes in the "percussion" button on my chair and screams "YEAH!." I chuckle, and turn it off a couple of seconds later, all the while looking awkwardly at the nail polish I had selected to avoid the gruesome/nude scene on the TV.

I had ordered the sea salt pedicure. I never saw any sea salt...just greenish, grainy stuff. It was okay, but it took off about three layers of skin from my legs. Still, I thought to myself, a little exfoliation is good for the blood flow. Oh no, she has noticed that my chair is off. She jumps up, hits "percussion" again, and screams "YEAH!" Seriously woman, I have equillibrium issues. The swirling of the water, banging on my back, and freaky movie are all making me a little nauseated. Plus, my legs are trying to regenerate some skin which is making me exhausted. No relief. She's hard core about this back massaging thing being on.

So, I relent and try to focus on a ceiling tile to avoid puking. Then comes my favorite feature of the pedicure. I'm not exactly sure what you would call the blue stuff she put on my legs but I'm pretty sure that the label would read: 1/4 Icy Hot; 1/4 antifreeze; 1/4 blue jello; and 1/4 coconut oil for that oh-so-touchable glow. My first question is why my legs, which are raw from the "sea salt that wasn't really sea salt" had to be exposed to this mess...wasn't this a pedicure after all? So, she slathers this stuff on Sarah and me at the same time. We kind of laugh..."what is this?"..."it's okay, it feels good." BUT IT DOESN'T FEEL GOOD AT ALL. Sarah and I start to giggle/cry a little bit, and then we both lose it completely. By the time the Icy Hot/antifreeze concoction is washed away, we're laughing so hard that we can't even see the TV behind our tears. My face is green, my eyes are watery, my legs are aglow with blue goo, and I'm noticing that I had too much Diet Coke at the theater with free refills.

My feet look great though. The weekend was great. Girl friends are great. Coming home to my precious family is even better!

6 comments:

Sarah J. said...

Oh, I've been waiting for this post! Even though I was there, it is fun to relive it. But I think you forgot the part about her pounding your calves during the "massage" portion of your pedicure. Seriously, the look on your face was PRICELESS!

Ashley said...

I just found your blog! Whattup!!!!

Hilarious story. Hilarious. Girl time rocks. Hope you are doing well!

MereMoore said...

i don't think that i have ever laughed that hard in my life! i honestly can't stop laughing actually-i have had a VERY similar experience...are you ready for our valentine treat???

Emme said...

Laura,
I just found your blog. I am so excited to be able to see pictures of your sweet kids. I hope that you are doing well. Reading about your pedicure experience makes me miss you and your great stories!

Emme

Amanda Pittman said...

update your blog, slacker. what? you busy with like, two kids or something? i need to laugh some more. please update.

Anonymous said...

It was really great to spend some time with you last night :-) Your kiddos are gorgeous!