The Anti-Toilet

Life as a stay-at-home mom is always changing. You feel like you're always juggling, running, comforting, folding, washing, diapering, and just spinning in general. While I'm used to fielding this type of chaos, I wasn't at all prepared for the curve ball I experienced in a public restroom yesterday.

Automatic toilets flush automatically. Correct. Automatic toilets flush automatically when you stand up. Incorrect. That's not always true. Sometimes, when you least expect it, they like to flush when you sit down. Wet surprise.

Toilets flush automatically and then stop. Again, incorrect. When you are sitting on the extra special toilet that flushes when you sit down instead of when you stand up, it also likes to continue flushing for the duration of your stay. Back draft issue.

I got over it. Re-entered the seminar that I was attending, and laughed as I entered the bathroom for the second, third, and fourth time. (It was an all-day affair that necessitated large intakes of caffeine) By the end of the day,I had tried all of the stalls that this lovely establishment had to offer.

Toilets that flush automatically, when you sit down, and continue to do so are an exception. Apparently, this is also incorrect. Much to my surprise (and at this point, my utter disbelief) this hotel ordered the anti-toilet rather than your standard flusher.

When I went to wash my hands, I lathered them up with cow dung and then dried them off in stagnant pond water.

There are some obvious conclusions that I could draw between my anti-toilet experience and the fact that I was at a CLE trying to figure out whether I'm ready to hang out my shingle and begin to practice law. But I don't like lawyer jokes, and I really don't like upward-flow flushing toilets.

If this is any kind of omen, pray for me.